In conversation

Pissants | Brandon Jack

In conversation with Robbie Arnott.

Nothing like this has ever happened at a footy club. Honest.

The embittered fringe players of an unnamed football club follow rules of their own. Kidnapping a teammate’s dog for a gag. Taking potent painkiller suppositories to get through the living nightmare of a sponsors’ event. Ticking off their Pissants bingo cards to survive the weirdness of meetings with the club psych. Fangs, Stick, Squidman and Shaggers speak in a cryptic code of inside jokes and WhatsApp exchanges, chained to each other by their place on the outskirts of the team.

Together, these characters present a jaw-dropping snapshot of life within the chaotic world of a professional sports club. The psychotic rituals. The dementing cliches. The adulation. The pressure. The broken staff. The despair. The towering egos. The flatlining sexual encounters. The life-saving friendships.

Trainspotting gets munted with A Visit from the Goon Squad in Ted Lasso’s Front Bar in this brutally hilarious, unhinged and at times surprisingly moving insider’s glimpse into one anonymous footy club – and what might happen behind the headlines, off the field and out of sight.

Brandon Jack played for the Sydney Swans for five years. He is the author of the acclaimed 28: A memoir of football, addiction, art, masculinity and love.

Join Brandon and Robbie Arnott – author of Limberlost, The Rain Herron, Dusk and Flames – at the Afterword Cafe.